Just what it says. There’s nothing I can do except ride it out. It comes in waves and is all engulfing. I am missing my family, my home and the familiar surroundings, my animals and my freedom. A bubble bath, a hug on the sofa watching rubbish TV. I have to be the best version of myself here, to be always in control and it’s exhausting. Saying goodbye after visits is awful and despite being surrounded by people and checked up on every 15 minutes, I feel desperately lonely. Friday night in hospital is not the best fun. Most people have gone home for the weekend and I’m sitting in the lounge waiting for medication so I can then just go to bed, attain a bit of oblivion and dream of home.

Being Friday evening and August the usual staff are thin on the ground and the ward is being run by agency workers who have no idea what’s going on. I had to talk through each dose of medication with the nurse who simply didn’t seem to know anything. It took 35 minutes. I wonder at such times why I am here at all.

Seen better views……


6 thoughts on “Homesick”

  1. Ah hang on in there Rosie!! Focus on the goal : being well and whole and happy on the sofa with your lovely family. Just keep on keeping on, one foot in front of the other, one minute to the next. You can do this. Keep updating your blog so we can share it with you. You’re not alone my lovely xxxx


  2. We’re all there with you in our minds, and we enjoy every minute we can spend with you. You are doing so well, keep it up and you’ll be home before you know it. Xx


  3. Reminds me of when I was in treatment last time. I was the only one at the surpervised living house on the weekends. Even if I was allowed to go home I would still be alone so it didn’t matter to me. When I finally had passes to go home it felt so foreign. Hang in there. Maybe take advantage of personal space time? I ended up preferring it to having people around who didn’t socialized. I would feel even lonelier then.


  4. I just re-read this, trying to catch up on everyone, and feel it so much different. I asked if I could go to visit my people at the Ranch this weekend and was denied because they felt I would over extend myself. I can’t even express how I felt yesterday when I was rocks but I know you get it. I can’t wait to read your more current posts.


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